When a parent stops keeping up with money and paperwork, the envelopes show it first. Mail does not argue, and it does not change its story when you ask. One unopened pile means little. A stack that keeps growing, or the same kind of notice coming back, tells you whether this is a bad week or a slide.
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Sort one week of mail into three piles
Take everything that came in during one week and sort it into needs an answer, needs to be paid, and junk. Count the unopened envelopes in each pile. If the answer pile is large, or the unopened count rises week over week, you have found the problem and you have a number to bring into the conversation.
Read for the specific signs
Look for late notices, collection letters, service shutoff warnings, insurance explanations that were never opened, a second copy of the same bill, and duplicate subscriptions or orders. Check the checkbook or the bank statement for bills paid twice or bills missed entirely. Look at the fridge and the pantry for food past its date and for the same item bought again and again. None of these proves anything alone. Together they show a man who is not keeping up with the house.
Tell a bad week from a pattern
A bad week ends with the pile sorted. A pattern shows up as the same kind of envelope coming back unopened, the same notice arriving again, or the same bill paid late in a regular cycle. Keep each week's sort sheet in one folder so the pattern is visible on paper and not only in your memory.
Take the facts to his doctor without a verdict
A pattern like this is worth telling his doctor in plain facts: which kinds of mail are piling up, which bills were missed, and which household items or groceries have changed. Describe what you saw and when you saw it, and leave the guessing about causes out. The doctor decides what it means. Your job is to make sure the doctor has the facts.
Your next move: pull this week's mail, sort it into the three piles, and write the counts on one sheet tonight. Then sit with Dad and sort the answer pile with him, side by side, and leave the paying with him for now. The sheet is your evidence. If you want a checklist for the next conversation, the Start Here page is the place to begin.