Dad will not say he is slipping. He will say the trash is fine, the walk is fine, and the grass will get cut when it gets cut. The outside of the house is the easiest place to see a change, because you can check it from the street and it does not require him to admit anything. Start there.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
What the bin is telling you
Trash day is a fixed event. A bin that is at the curb on pickup morning, lid shut and turned to face the street, means someone walked it down. A bin that sits behind the back gate, lies on its side in the drive, or leans full against the fence means the trip has gotten harder or has stopped being a job anyone is doing. Count the pickups you actually pass by, not the ones you hear about on the phone.
On each drive by, check three things: is the bin at the curb or at the gate, is the lid closed, and does the bin look the same as it did last time, meaning full, overfilled, or nearly empty. Write each one down with the pickup day next to it. Use the calendar on your phone, not your memory.
Read the walk and the yard next
A bin is one trip. The walk to the mailbox, the front steps, snow or leaves on the path, and the grass height tell you more about the whole route. Look for a path that was cleared and now is not, leaves piled on the steps, grass that has grown past the height it was kept at, or a porch light that has been out for days. None of these is a diagnosis. Each one is a fact about what is still being kept up.
Pay attention to what is missing, not only what is wrong. He may still cut the grass but has stopped doing the edges, or the trash goes out but the recycling does not. The gap between what he used to keep up and what he keeps up now is the signal. That is why the baseline matters. If you cannot say what the yard looked like before, you cannot judge the change.
What to ask, and of whom
Do not open with a list of what he is failing at. Ask a plain question he can answer without losing face: how is bin day working for you lately, is the back gate sticking, or do you want help getting the walk done before the weather turns. Listen for the answer that says the job got heavy, the gate is hard to open, or the steps feel different. Those are the specific things to fix.
If a neighbor or a regular service person sees the same things, ask them what they noticed and which day they noticed it. A specific observation from someone else is worth more than a general sense that things look off. Keep the list in one note so the next call starts from facts, not from the last argument.
Your next move tonight
Open your phone calendar and pull the last six pickup days. For each one, write down whether the bin was at the curb, based on what you saw or what he told you. Then send Dad one short text or make one call with one question about the bin or the gate, not a verdict. Put his answer next to the list. If the list shows misses on three pickups in a row, bring it to the next family call and name who will check the bin on the next pickup day. For local people who can help with outside work or a referral, start with the Local Help in St. Louis page.