Dad's pharmacy keeps a record he does not think about. Each refill that gets picked up leaves a trail, and each one that sits behind the counter says something before he will.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
What to read
Start with the counter. With Dad's permission, ask whether any refills are waiting for pickup that have not been collected. Then look at the reminders. If his pharmacy sends text messages or automated calls, check whether they are still arriving and whether anyone answers them. At the house, look for paper bags that came home folded and unopened, sitting on the hall table or in a drawer. Note the gap between when a refill was due and when it was picked up. One late day means little. A gap that gets longer each cycle is the signal.
Check the opposite pattern too. A bottle that was picked up but never opened means the trip happened and the next step did not. Both patterns are early signs, and both are easier to see from a kitchen counter than from a phone call.
Keep a short log
Use one sheet with three columns: the date the refill was due, the date it was picked up, and what you saw when you were there. Keep it in the same spot every visit. The log is not a case against Dad. It lets you compare this stretch with the one before, and that comparison is what turns a general worry into a specific question for his doctor or pharmacist.
Who does what
A non-medical in-home caregiver can be asked to pick up prescriptions as an errand and to give medication reminders. That is the full extent of it, and it is worth saying out loud on the first day. Deciding what he takes, checking doses, and any sorting or managing of his medicine stay with the family, the doctor and the pharmacist. If pickups have stalled, the family brings the log to the doctor and the pharmacist, and the family decides what happens next.
Take his side while you look
Dad may have a routine that works for him, and he may resent being watched. Ask him to show you the bottle, not to explain it. If the routine holds, the log will show that too, and you can stop worrying about that piece. If the bags pile up, you will have the evidence in your own handwriting before the argument starts.
Next move: Before your next visit, ask the pharmacy counter what is waiting for pickup, write it on the log, and bring the log to the next conversation with his doctor. For local contacts, see Local Help in St. Louis.