Taking the keys is the move most sons want to make the week after a fall, and it is the move most likely to blow up the rest of the plan. Once he loses the car, he loses the pharmacy run, the doctor visits and the trip to see friends, and he has no reason left to let anyone else drive him anywhere. Before you touch the keys, get four things written down.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Find out what a review actually is
A driving review and a complaint are two different routes. Ask his primary care office whether they handle driving or fitness-to-drive assessments, who schedules them, and what the family has to bring. Then ask the state driver licensing office how a concern about a driver is reported and whether the person reporting can keep their name off the notice. Write down the office name, the phone number, and the exact steps they gave you.
Check whose car it is and who carries the insurance
Look at the title and the registration. If the car is in his name only, taking the keys does not change who owns it, and a car that sits unused still needs insurance, a registration renewal and a place to park. Ask the insurer whether the policy lists him as the main driver and what changes if someone else drives it. Do not move the car, sell it or change the policy until you have asked the insurer.
Map the rides before the keys leave the table
List every place he drives in a normal week: the pharmacy, the doctor, church, the bank, the grocery, the friend's house. For each stop, name the person or service that gets him there and the backup when that person is unavailable. Ride and transit options in the area are listed on the Local Help in St. Louis page. Check the hours, the sign-up time and whether a service needs notice days in advance before you count on it.
Ask the questions that decide the next step
Before you raise it with him, get answers to these:
Does his doctor know about the fall and about the driving, and will the office send the form a licensing review requires?
Will he take the concern more seriously from his doctor than from you, and can the doctor's office make that call with him in the room?
If he refuses a review, what can you change without a fight in the driveway, such as the ride list, the insurance details and who pays for the car?
Make the first move tonight
If you have already seen a near miss, do not wait for the review. Call his doctor's office tomorrow morning, tell them what you saw, and ask one question: do they do driving evaluations, and what form does the family need to bring? Then write the ride list on one page and bring it to that call. If you want the order of steps for the rest of the family, start with the Start Here page.