Many adult children do not realize they have a legal problem until someone at a counter tells them so. The bank will not discuss the account. The pharmacy will not talk about a prescription. The utility wants the account holder on the line. Each refusal feels like an obstacle the institution put in front of you. Usually it is a missing piece of paper, and the paper is the thing to solve.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
What the gap looks like
You are making calls for Dad, but you are not the person the institution has on file. You are asked to verify who you are, and the answer is not on anything you carry. You are told a form is needed, and no one can name the form. You handle the bills, the appointments, or the insurance, and Dad is still the one who signs. Those are the signs. Write down when each one happens and the name of the person who said no.
Separate the two questions
There are two questions here, and they are not the same. The first is whether Dad can still make and communicate his own decisions. That is a question for his doctor and, if it ever becomes formal, for a court. The second is whether you have written authority to act for him right now. Families often blur these and then argue about one while the other is the real blocker. Do not try to settle the first on your own, and do not assume the second is covered because you have always handled things.
Find the paper before you need it
Look for any existing document that names you to act, whatever it is called. Check the desk drawer, the safe, any attorney's files, and whatever the bank has on record. Read it before you rely on it. Check who it names, whether it takes effect now or only later, and whether it is still valid. A document that was never signed, or that names someone who is no longer available, does not help at the counter.
Ask the institution, not the internet
Call each institution and ask three things: what document do you accept from someone acting for the account holder, does your form need to be signed by the holder or can an agent sign it, and is there a process to start if no document exists. Write down the answer, the name of the representative, and the time of the call. Bank and pharmacy rules differ, and the representative on the phone is the only source that matters for the next step.
Next move tonight
Gather everything you can find that names you to act, then make a single list of which institutions are blocking you and what each one asked for. Call the one with the most urgent bill and ask what form it accepts. If you need someone to read the paper and explain what it does, take it to a St. Louis elder law attorney. This page can tell you what to ask, but it cannot tell you what your documents mean. For the wider order of steps, see Start Here.