An adult day program is a daytime place with supervision, meals, and activities, and it is often easier to get a stubborn father into a program he calls a club than a caregiver he calls a babysitter. That framing is an honest sales tool only if the program can back it up. Before you put down a deposit, ask the questions below and get the answers in writing where you can.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Ask about the hours and the trip

Ask what days and hours the program runs, when the pickup and drop-off windows are, and who provides the transport. Ask how long the ride takes from your house and what happens if he refuses to get into the van on day one. Ask whether a family member can bring him in and how that works on a day he says no.

Ask about staff and supervision

Ask for the staff-to-participant ratio on the floor during the hours he would attend and ask what training the staff have for falls, wandering, and transfers. Ask what physical help they give with toileting, meals, and moving from a chair, and what they will not do. Their answer to that second question tells you more than the brochure.

Ask about medicine, carefully

Ask whether staff will remind him about his medicine on the schedule he already follows. Confirm in writing that medicine stays with you, his doctor, and his pharmacist, and that the program does not sort, hand out, or manage it. If the answer is vague, ask who the program calls when a question comes up.

Ask about emergencies and reports

Ask what happens when he falls, is hurt, or leaves the room without telling anyone. Ask who gets called first, in what order, and how quickly. Ask what written report you will receive at the end of each day or week and whether you can ask for a call at any time.

Ask about leaving

Ask for the written policy on notice to leave, what is refunded for days missed, and whether a trial period is available. Ask whether the program will let you pull him out after a bad first week without a penalty. Read the answer before you sign anything.

Visit at the hour he would attend

Do not tour at 10 in the morning if he would arrive at 8. Ask to see the room, the bathroom, the exit path, and the lunch setup while it is running, then ask a staff member a question you have already written down.

Next move tonight: open the Local Help in St. Louis page, pick two programs, and call each one to book a visit at the hour he would actually attend.